Rei's Off Day
by thrash
Summary: rei wakes up one morning feeling wierd give it a read you'll like it


Rei woke up feeling awkward one morning

Rei woke up feeling awkward one morning

REI: ugh

Even though she tried she couldn't remember a thing of what happened last night and she had a serious headache. 

REI: I need an aspirin

So the groggy blue haird girl went to her bathroom twords the medicine cabinet

REI:...

But she had never been sick a day in her life

REI: I need a shower

So the groggy blue haird girl wen to take a shower. So rei set the shower to nuclear hot (just the say she likes it) steped in and turned on the watter but

REI: eyes widening and skin turning the coler of her hair WHA THE FUCK SHIT COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD Jesus Christ 

The watter was bon chilling cold so Rei jumped out of the shower and noticed something she didn't remember anything that happened last night. Dismissing the thought she decided to put on her uniform and take the 10-minute walk to the subway.

...

On the subway

Rei sat where she always sat as far as she could remember, she also sat next to the same guy as long as she could remember, and the guy had always whistled as long as she could remember, and it had always been the same tune as long as... well you get it.

GUY: hey

Rei just nodded at him in acknowledgment and sat next to him

REI: *thinking* here we go 5 4 3 2 1

GUY: starts whistling

So as always rei just tuned him out but this time she found she couldn't she tried to think of something else but her head was still pounding and this guy was getting on her nerves. Sooo.... Re turned around slowly got close to the guys ear and

REI: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ASS HOLE IM HAVING A BAD DAY AND MY HEAD IS KILLIJNG ME SO SHUT THE HELL UP FUCKER!!!

The guy obviously starteled by the quite passive girls sudden out burst and quickly stopped whistling. The rest of the ride was remotely peaceful.

At school

Class hadn't started yet and students were talking to each other rei slowly walked into the class room she was feeling better and the headache was subsiding. The first person to see her walk in was Asuka... of all people

ASUKA: hey look who it is hey wondergirl 

REI: bite me bitch

ASUKA: huh?

Rei had showed annoyance sometimes but she never responded

REI: YEA you heard me you cheep two dollar truckstop whore you wanna piece of me I got a gun a hair trigger and a short fuse bwing it on BI-ATCH!!!

Asuka stared shocked and confused at what had just happened and so did everyone else in the class.

ASUKA: uhh ... I'm gonna go sit down now

Asuka walked over to her desk sat down and just stared at the blackboard

Hikari left the class and went to the library, and rei walked (or stormed) to her desk and commenced her normal activity of staring out the window. Everyone else decided to ignore what had happened and continued thair idle talk

Then sensei came in with some books

SENSAI: ok ok class calm down

The class kept on talking

SENSAI: now, now

The class continues their incessant rambling

SENSAI: ok

REI: SHUT THE HELL UP YOU TURDS!!!

The class like most things in the end continued as normal

LUNCH HOUR

as the lunch bell rang everyone stormed out of the room and rei skipped THAT'S RITE SHE SKIPPED to lunch

One third of the three stooges sat under a tree eating his lunch it was Touji. When suddenly (cue dramatic music … now) a shadow loomed over Touji who was happy siting their eating his sandwich.

TOUJI: thinking oh… shit 

Touji looks up to see who dare intrude on his happ little world to see rei

TOUJI: hi rei

REI: Touji do you think I'm fat

TOUJI: wa… um..er..eh

REI: well…

TOUJI: you see… um

Kensuke who is a few feet a way hears his friend in danger and goes to help him

KENSUKE: Rei you're not fat you're 

Stammered the poor boy looking for a non offending word.

KENSUKE: … slender

Rei looked at Touji than at Kensuke than at Touji and back at Kensuke and her eyes get all misty

REI: WAAAAAAAAAAA YOU THINK IM A SKELETON SCREW YOU, YOU NERD GEEK!!!

Poor Rei runs away crying.

TOUJI: ok Kensuke I know what you want to say and so do I

KENSUKE: but it's very sexist

Both stooges brake out laughing

TOUJI: do you want to say it or should I

KENSUKE: you ha, ha, ha do it snicker

TOUJI: ok I think its that time of the month again 

This stupidity is followed by to minutes of solid laughter

ring, ring

both boys look up at the public phone

KENSUKE: uh shouldn't we pivk that up

TOUJI: you do it

ring, ring

KENSUKE: no you do it

ring, ring

TOUJI: no you do it

ring, ring

KENSUKE: no you do it

ring, ring

TOUJI: no you do it

Kensuke: you

ring, ring

Touji: you

ring, ring

KENSUKE: lets both do it 

ring, ring

TOUJI: ok

ring, ring

the two boys pick up the phone

TOUJI & KENSUKE: moshi, moshi

REI: on the other line I HEARD THAT YOU TURDS!!!

BACK TO HIKARY

we see everyone's favorite rep talking to the school librarian

HIKARI: I'm looking for books on demon possessions

LIBRARIEN: A-10

HIKARI: thank you 

BACK AT LUNCH

Asuka was angrily stomping twords Rei

ASUKA: thinking that stupid little doll I'm gonna kick her ass

Asuka had finally found the place where Rei was having lunch peacfully

ASUKA: HEY DOLL YO

Asuka stopped and waited for rei to turn around wich she did

REI: yo mama, ho

ASUKE: WHAT HOW DARE YOU… YO MAMA SO STUPID SHE TRIED TO PU M & M'S IN ALPHABETICL ORDER

REI: OH YEAH YO MAMA SO FAT WHAEN SHO PUTS ON A RED DRESS PEOPLE GO KOOOOOOLADE, KOOOOOOLADE STANDS UP AND DOASE A LITTLE DANC WHILE GOING KOOOOOOOOLADE, KOOOOOOOLADE

ASUKA: OH YEA YO MAMA SO HAIRY IT LOOKS LIKES SHE HAS BUCKWEED IN A HEAD LOCK

REI: YO MAMA SO HAIRY HER TITS LOOK LIKE COCONUTS

ASUKA: YEA YO MAMA LIKE POTATO CHIPS… LAY LAYS!!!

REI: YO MAMA SO NASTY THAT WHEN SANTA SAID HO, HO, HO SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS GETTING IT THREE TIMES!!!

ASUKA: SCREW YOU I DON'T TALK TO LEZBO HO'S

REI: SO THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T TALK TO YOURE MOM

ASUKA: NO I

REI: HAHA SO YOU ADMIT IT

ASUKA: grrr

Asuka storms off angrily

REI: BYE, BYE DAIKITANA

BACK TO HIKARI IN THE LIBRARY

Hikari has a lot of evil looking books next to her and is reading "exersitions for dummies"

HIKARI: damn

BACK AT LUNCH (DAMN this is a long fucking lunch)

we find our heroine (that's Rei) dancing around in a circle with two guys and a girl

all of the singing

REI: hey now you're an all star get the game on go play

GIRL: hey now you're a rock star get the show on get paid

ALL: and all that glitters ain't goooooooold 

GUY 1: only shooting sta..a..a…a…rs brake the mo..o…o…o…ld

REI: somebody once told me could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself out of this place

GUY2: I said yep what a concept and we could all use a little change

???

hikary is in a dark room with a star inside a circle 

HIKARY: I CAMAND YOU SATEN RELASE THE SOLE OF THIS GIRL IN THE NAME OF…

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing

HIKARY: shit im gonna be late to class

Runs out of dark room witch turns out to be the library with the librarian tied up in the corner (she didn't let Hikari do the exorcism).

LIBRARIEN: ugh u ore

CLASS 

all the students are sitting and hearing the old as hell teacher ramble on the day was normal except rei actually listened to the teacher and took notes

REIS APARTMENT THE NEXT DAY

Rei slowly sits up of the bed feeling normal takes a shower all the shmeer and goase to the subway.

AT THE SUBWAY 

rei is in her usual seat (the guy that sat next to her siting a few feet away holding a cross and chanting:

AT CLASS

rei got to school 10 minutes late because the subway had problems but she go to class 

hikary held up a bible and pointed it at her while she took her seet. Rei calmly sat down and looked out the window like she normaly did the whole class who was starring at her turned round and sighed seeing everything in proper oreder

TEACHER: blah, blah, blah

Rei slowly tuned to se the whole class

REI: I don't think im fat

The whole class falls of their seat and while the teacher continues the lesson

The rest of the day was normal.

AUTHORS "OFICE"

THRASH: THERE YOU HAVE IT MY FIRST EVA FIC RITE NOW YOUR THINKING WOW THIS GUY RULES SO PLZ, PLZ REVIEW EVEN IF YOU THINK I SUCK AN AOUTHER HAS TO KNOW WHAT THE PPL THINK TO SEE WHAT THEY WANT WELL THAT'S ALL

And if you get scared remember WE HAVE A NUCLEOR WEPON

If people like it ill rite Asuka's off day than who knows


End file.
